Or do your sex sessions fizzle out in a few minutes and end with a dud?
For most guys, it’s the latter. They don’t know how to how to fuck a girl the right way. It’s no wonder why so many relationships are in turmoil and so many women cheat.
To be frank, these women want some good D, and their man just isn’t delivering.
If you don’t give your woman good sex – whether she’s a girlfriend, fuck buddy, wife, etc. – she’s not going to stick around for long. And if by chance she does, you better believe she’ll be getting some on the side (even if you think she’s a “good girl” who would never do a thing like that).
How to Fuck a Girl: The 7 Fundamentals of Mind-Blowing Sex
1. The Build Up
She knows the build up is important…
As men, we can flick a switch and be ready for sex in seconds. Women want and enjoy sex just as much as men (if not more), but they usually need a little more build up before they’re ready to jump in the sheets (or get bent over the bathroom sink).
I’m not talking about foreplay here, although that’s important too (as you’ll see later). What they need is for you to get them in the sexual mood.
A big part of this is giving a woman the 4 things she needs before sex:
She needs to feel comfortable with you
She needs to feel that it’s worth the risk
She needs to trust you
She needs you to initiate it
(You should also learn how to have a sexy vibe around women.)
But this applies even to women whom you’ve already had sex with. You should make your conversations more sexual throughout the day, and perhaps even through a few texts to build sexual tension like, “I can’t wait to do more bad things to you tonight ;)”.
(And if you want to know how to talk to girls and make it sexy, check out my free video course. In it, you’ll learn a simple conversation structure that rapidly takes you from saying “Hi” all the way to leading her to the bedroom. Click here to get access now.)
2. The Right Positions
Okay, now for the actual sex part…
You should have some good sex positions in your arsenal. These should be a combination of positions with a lot of skin-to-skin contact (to maximize intimacy and pleasure) and positions with less skin-to-skin contact to add a little variation.
Here are some sex positions with a lot of skin-to-skin contact:
When fucking her in missionary, wrap your arms around her and hold the backs of her shoulders with your hands while lying on top of her – as opposed to hoisting yourself over her with minimal contact like in regular missionary. (This is a position I got from Chase Amante over at GirlsChase. I recommend checking out his post on it here as he describes it in-depth. It’s become one of my go-to positions).
When fucking her doggy style, lean over and touch your chest to her back while you wrap your hands around her breasts.
Again when fucking her doggy style, you can lie her down flat on the bed and lean over her back and kiss her neck as you take her from behind.
When she’s riding you, move over and sit up on the edge of the bed with your legs on the floor. Your upper bodies should be parallel to each other. From here, you can grab her ass and move her up and down, and make full contact with her upper body.
Here are some of the best sex positions that have less skin-to-skin contact:
Reverse cowgirl. Here, she rides you while facing the opposite direction.
Regular doggy style. Have her crouch down on all fours and penetrate her from behind.
Her on top. Here, she simply sits up and rides you.
Sideways doggy style. When fucking her doggy style, flip her to her side and continue penetrating her (keep your body in the same position as regular doggy style).
3. Dominance
You don’t have to get all “50 Shades” on her to be dominant
This is perhaps the biggest key when it comes to how to fuck a girl. Without dominance, you won’t be able to get her off consistently.
You see, it’s not enough to know how to lead women in conversation – you must also know how to lead women in the bedroom too. Even the most powerful of women want to be “taken” in the bedroom. They want a man who can fuck them hard.
Here’s how you can be more dominant in the bedroom:
Don’t ask her to give you head. Tell her you want her to suck your dick, then sit on the edge of the bed and have her get on her knees and do it. Or, stand up next to the bed while she’s sitting on the edge, so that your dick is about face level with her, have her feel your erection from the outside of your pants, unzip it, and suck it (when she’s face level like this, she’ll usually go right for it).
Don’t ask her to get into sexual positions. Move her into the positions you want so she can enjoy the experience.
Pull her hair. For example, when you’re fucking her doggy style, lightly tug her hair from the roots so that her head bends backward a little, then kiss her neck.
Fuck her doggy style in front of a mirror, pull her head up by the hair, and have her make eye contact with you as you take her from behind.
Spank her. You can do this while fucking her, or even just bend her over a desk or chair and spank her a few times before you start having sex.
Finish in her face/mouth. When you’re about to finish, pull out and tell her to take your load in her mouth/on her face.
If you’ve never done any of this before, this may all seem a bit extreme to you. But an overwhelming majority of women love all of this dominant behavior, and they’ll orgasm a lot harder when you do it.
In fact, in my experience, this level of dominance is just scratching the surface. There’s a lot more deep fantasies that women have that you can fulfill with dominance.
Women are not all the innocent little good girls that society would have you believe. With the right guy who knows the fundamentals, they open up sexual doors that they’d never even consider with their wussy nice guy boyfriends of the past.
(Note: Have a little caution with this stuff the first time you have sex with a girl. For example, she might like to get her hair pulled a little bit, but dislike getting spanked. If you try something a little bit and can sense she likes it, you can keep upping the level. You can also talk about what kind of stuff she loves to do in bed after you’ve had sex, and do it the next session.)
4. Communication
“Let’s talk about sex, baby…” – Probably what this guy just said.
Communication is important through all aspects of sex – before, during, and after.
I’m going to write a post very soon about communication after sex. So here we’ll talk specifically about communication before and during sex.
Before sex, this involves connecting with her emotionally.
If you’re ALL dominance ALL the time, she won’t be comfortable enough to fully give herself to you sexually.
She needs to feel passion, and for that, she needs an emotional connection.
Here’s how you can make that emotional connection before sex:
Connect with her on a deeper level with emotional conversation topics like these.
Keep the conversation focused on her so she’s invested in the interaction.
Hold sexy eye contact. Eye contact is incredibly powerful for connecting with women. Look into her eyes for majority of the conversation.
During sex, this involves dirty talk and moaning/groaning.
I found this a bit surprising, but girls tell me over and over again that most guys are silent during sex. Maybe it’s an ego thing, or maybe these guys just feel awkward, I’m not sure.
Here’s what’s interesting: just about every girl I’ve been with has loved that I moan during sex and oral sex. It pleasures them when they see that the experience (and what they’re doing) is pleasuring me. Now, I’m not grunting like Venus and Serena Williams during a tennis match, but I’m doing enough to show that I’m very much enjoying the experience – and they love it.
So, don’t be afraid to hold back – moan a little when she’s blowing you, riding you, etc. Think of it like positive feedback.
As for dirty talk…
Dirty talk is part of an immersive sexual experience. And so, dirty talk should NOT be logical at all.
The key is to say the right thing at the right time. For example, when you’re making out before sex, you can pull back, stare into her eyes, and say something like, “Babe, you’re so beautiful.” This will turn her on and further immerse her in the experience. But if you say the same thing while you’re railing her from behind and she’s about to cum, it’s a little awkward.
It’d be a lot better to say something like, “You’re my naughty little girl and you’re going to come all over me.” As another note, you should always talk dirty to a girl, whether it’s your first time fucking her or your hundredth time. But you should gradually increase the amount of dirty talk over time so you can kind of ease her into it.
5. Foreplay
A lot of men like to get straight to the point. They have that “Fuck her right in the pussy” mentality (LOL) and they skip out on foreplay almost completely.
But foreplay is absolutely essential for a few reasons…
First, you need lubrication for sex. Sure, you can use artificial “lube”, but I can guarantee you that’s not how she wants to get started. She wants you to get her soaking wet.
Plus, both you and her will have better orgasms when there’s a greater buildup of sexual desire beforehand (and that’s what happens with great foreplay).
Here are some tips for great foreplay:
Kiss and caress her erogenous zones, like: her lips, neck, breasts, stomach, and inner thighs.
Give her a sexual massage. Get some quality oil and have your girl lay face down on the bed. Massage her neck, shoulders, and lower back, then slowly move down to her legs. (I’ll write a more in-depth blog post on this soon).
Finger her the right way. One great way to do this is to insert one or two fingers into her vagina, and press firmly into the vaginal wall using a “come hither” motion.
Cunnilingus. In other words, eat her out. There are a lot of different ways to do this. One good way is to position your tongue on either the left or right of her clit. Then, move your tongue in circles around the clit only (either in a clockwise or counterclockwise motion).
If you do these the right way, she’ll literally be begging you to fuck her.
6. Variety
“Let’s do it on this bike…”
Variety is the spice of life. You shouldn’t be doing the same things every time you have sex, or stay in the same position for the duration of the session.
On average you should switch up sexual positions every 8-10 minutes or less, or when you have the urge to try something new.
You should also aim to switch between dominant and passionate sex. Maybe you bend her over the kitchen table and give her a quickie. Then, later on in the night, you have a long, sensual love-making session. You can even change it up during each sex session.
Here are some other ways you can add variety:
Time
Location (public places can be exciting)
Context
Duration
Number of orgasms
Role playing
7. Good Stamina
Like I said in the beginning, you don’t need to last for hours to have great sex. But you do need to last for more than a few minutes.
A 5-minute quickie is fun every now and then – and can even make for a good surprise for your woman (as we just talked about with variety). But if you do that every time, it’ll become a problem.
Lasting longer in bed is something I had trouble with for a while. I’d go on streaks where I had no problem lasting as long as I wanted, followed by streaks where I could barely last 10 minutes.
But over time, as I slept with more girls, became more in tune with myself, and learned more about great sex, this stopped being a problem. Now, I can just about always last as long as I want. And I can tell you this: sex is A LOT more enjoyable when you have good stamina and you’re not worried about finishing too early all of the time.
So, how do you improve your stamina and last longer in bed? Here are some tips:
Be in the moment. When you worry yourself about finishing too quickly, you’re probably going to finish too quickly. Thoughts will swirl your head like, “This is going to be so embarassing,” “She’s going to judge me,” etc. Instead, allow yourself to enjoy the sensations of sex and be in the moment. One thing that helped me a TON with this was meditation, because when you meditate, you practice being in the moment. After meditating for 10 minutes a day with Headspace for a month or two, my orgasm control dramatically improved.
Control your breathing. When you lose control of your breath, you’re bound to lose control of your orgasm soon after. Meditation can help you control your breath as well (for more health benefits of meditation, you can check out this infographic).
Switch positions. There are some sex positions that will just make you lose control. If you feel yourself starting to lose control too early, switch up the position to one with a little less stimulation.
Don’t thrust all the time. You don’t have to thrust constantly. Sometimes you can slow it down, and instead of thrusting, move in a circular motion for 20-30 seconds. This provides good stimulation for the girl while lessening your own stimulation (because you’re not thrusting in and out).
Stop cycling through sexual techniques in your head, as this will take you out of the present moment. Instead, internalize these fundamentals. In other words, you won’t have to be thinking, “Okay I did X, now it’s time to try this other technique.” Instead, you’ll just need to think, “Okay, more dominance. Okay, now more variety. Etc.” until it becomes completely natural.
Hit the gym consistently. You should be lifting weights and doing a little cardio. This will improve your actual stamina so that you have the energy to fuck a girl for 30 minutes to an hour. To help with this, I recommend these supplements by Transparent Labs. I use them everyday. They maximize your gains in the gym, help you look great, and make it easy to stay in incredible shape.
